Travels: Bonny Scotland (2024)
My first adventure overseas began with a call from a YouTuber:
Lindsay Holiday, host of "History Tea Time with Lindsay Holiday," declared a special announcement: "I want YOU to join me in Scotland!" The timing had an almost spooky quality in how perfect it seemed...
***
For some context:
as early as the previous year (2022), my dad and I had started talking about taking a trip to Scotland; he'd just entered retirement that January, and then discovered the series Outlander by March... and then gotten me hooked on it by April... and so, by early fall, we were discussing rough plans of how we would get to Scotland, what we wanted to see, all that good stuff.
But then, just as suddenly as we jumped on the "Jamie + Clair" bandwagon, those plans disappeared by December 2022.
Dad suddenly passed away from complications from a staph-infection.
He was 65-years-old -
I my 30th birthday was only a month earlier.
***
Losing my father like this has, undoubtedly, been the darkest period of my life (so far). There were times I'd felt completely helpless before, but this was the first time I'd ever been completely shattered.
As my cousin Kelly once so astutely put it: "You never remember the first year" (following a loss). And she was absolutely right: Christmas 2022 to Thanksgiving 2023 has consistently been a blur to me (though some of that fog has lifted slightly now that year 3 has come and gone). But I still remember the summer day I tuned in for Lindsay's latest video - and the announcement that TrovaTrip was sponsoring her first group visit to beautiful Scotland in 2024.
The reason I remember: it was the first time since the ICU when I really felt like I could hear my father’s voice.*
"...Well - let's go..."
"What?!"
"Why not? You've got money. And the time now…"
I'd managed to save up a quite pretty penny from my first 15 years of working (no one will ever know how much), and I'd just left my first "real" job at the university hospital to pursue my own ambitions (in reality, I just couldn't stand to be in a hospital anymore... I nearly had a panic attack the first day back from bereavement leave).
It seemed like the chance and adventure of a lifetime - and at just the right time.
How NOT to Travel:
So, when I joined the History Tea-Timers for a hop, skip, and plane-ride over to Edinburgh, it was literally my first time traveling solo. AND overseas to boot.
To say I had no idea how to pack is more than a fair assessment.
I ended up not bringing enough warm clothes; one pair of boots (which began to wear on my heels by the end of the week); bought one of those clothing-bag-suit cases that promised to lighten you load (it didn't). Honestly, I pretty much did everything you're not supposed to do when packing for a touring-sojourn.
Oh yes! When I say we toured Scotland, I mean we toured Scotland...
So Much History, So Little Time:
After a short 2-day rest in Edinburgh, we got in our "Big Sexy Yellow Bus"** and just never stopped:
**Beg your pardon - inside-joke, lol...
Edinburgh:
Outlander & Culloden Moor
From Inverness to Oban:
Passing Loch Ness…. no monsters here!
My friend and roommate, Kate, found a friend!
A Glorious Discovery:
Now, our time in Callendar was relatively shorter compared to our other visits; if I remember correctly we were just taking a quick pit-stop for lunch and site-seeing.
And then, coming into the village, I saw something that made my heart soar:
If I'd had the extra minutes on my phone plan I would've called my aunt, my mother, my brother, my old roommate, that one guy down the street, and SCREAMED with joy into the receiver!
I honestly don't remember just how long I spent in the shop - only that they're kaleidoscopic collection of yarns was absolutely magnificent! Forcing myself to choose just one skein to take home was probably the most agonizing decision the entire trip, but I wasn't going to pass it up for anything!
I bought my first skein from Scotland and immediately began imagining what it would become when I got home (only because I didn't bring right the size crochet hook with me). In the end, I actually decided to deviate from my bread-and-butter skill, and polish up my (very basic!) knitting skills for something I really needed for Kentucky winters.
It took a little more than a year, but it was worth it - the're SO WARM!! I can literally make a snowball without my hands getting wet or cold.
Snow doesn’t come to Kentucky, until well into January… or later!
Heading Home:
When we got back to Edinburgh to start our separate journey's home, I felt like a changed woman. My problems back home didn't seem so scary anymore - and my grief felt pacified slightly from such a liberating experience. It wasn't because I didn't have to be around my pain all the time (though, admittedly, that separation did help). I think it was because I found such a great group of people to share some of that pain with (even by just a little bit).
I got to see a new part of the world I'd only ever seen from the comfort of my living room - a chance and a hope I had once shared with someone I loved very much. I got myself there on my own dime and time, and completely inexperienced in traveling. I learned so much about Scotland's history, and got to share it all with such kind and wonderful fellow history-lovers.
Looking back on it now, I'm positive it was one of the best choices I ever made. Making new friends, learning new stories and meeting a different culture up and close and personal, it gave me a brand new perspective on everything I'd been through in only 18 months.
Now, I can't say it was the thing that "saved" or "cured" me by the time the plane touched down in the Bluegrass State. It really was the trip of a lifetime, but even those very rarely play out like a movie; there were still a lot of dark days and sleepless nights once my pictures and souvenirs were safely tucked into their album. That's the reality of grieving as a family-unit.
I went through the worst experience of my life - watching my father wither away in a hospital bed - and some how came out of it still breathing... though not at all alive. I don't think I really knew what "living" meant anymore, in the new reality after the hospital - it was reality I'd never even considered before. Not really.
But Scotland 2024 ended up being my first real steps towards healing, a very long, and twisting, journey of its own; one that I realized (finally) I could handle after all.
*This was an exchange I think we would’ve had in real life... though I'm 110% positive he would've worked in a couple wise-cracks XD
Me and Dad at a local comedy club; circa 2019